My Experience in Writing a Will

I just went through the process of meeting with attorneys to draw up a Will and deal with all the issues of my impending demise. Or, maybe my demise is not so impending, but I think it still makes sense to be prepared.

My existing Will was incomplete, and it was generic and vague, a form I had picked up somewhere. I think it was two pages long, and it just didn’t take into account things that I wanted to do. I realized that my estate was a little more complex than could be taken care of by a generic form.

The thing that surprised me about the process of drawing up a Will was that it is more than just a legal transaction. Estate planning certainly starts with a Will, but it was also a time to stop and take stock of my life. Am I where I want to be in my life? What do I want to do with the rest of my life? Is the world a better place because I was here? What impact have I had on the people around me and the people closest to me, including my wife and my two 20-something children? Would they be prepared emotionally, physically, and financially if I were to suddenly pass? What about my motorcycles and motorcycle gear? (Neither my wife nor my children want those, so I needed to make other plans.) Working on a Will involved confronting all of the issues that, in day-to-day life, we tend to ignore.

As you can tell, estate planning has been an emotional journey for me. Hopefully, I have many years left, but it brought home to me that we all have a limited amount of time on the Earth. You can go to work and come home every day and think that’s enough, but it’s not enough.

Working in the life insurance industry as I do, obviously one of the first questions we addressed was, “Is there enough money to protect my family and provide them the liquidity they need?” However, life insurance only deals with things at a very high level. I discovered that estate planning goes to another level of detail entirely.

My biggest concern was my children. My son just turned 27, and my daughter is 24. Are they ready emotionally to deal with their lives at my death, if it were to happen tomorrow? What have I done to help prepare them? As a parent, I feel it is my responsibility to help my children mature, so I had to do some thinking about it, not just about the financial details, but looking also at the emotional impact. I want to help them make the right decisions throughout the rest of their lives. I want to help them to handle their lives as best they can.

Following the advice of Meg Muldoon, our Will creates a Trust at the time of our death. Right now, it’s structured only to take effect if our children are under age 35 at our death. It’s not a lot of money, but I wouldn’t want them to run through it in six months if it came to that. I am not sure I would want to create a more comprehensive Trust, as I’m not sure I would want my children having to deal with someone else making a decision for them when they are age 40 and trying to buy a house or a car. Every decision you make is going to have an impact on the lives of the people you leave behind, and a good estate planning attorney can help you work through these decisions.

We’re also working on a Will for my wife, as well as Living Wills and Powers of Attorney to make it easy for our family if we become incapacitated. My wife is going through the same process of thinking about the people around us and what their lives will be like when she’s gone – her brother, her nephews, her children. Maybe she’s thinking about her husband, too.

We were also forced to think of what we wanted to happen if both my wife and I, and our kids, were all dead. What would happen to our estate then? Would our extended family inherit it? How might it be divided? Should it go to charity?

My own father told me – I think I was 10 at the time – that at some point he wasn’t going to be around anymore and I would have to take care of myself. As a 10-year-old, I was shocked. At the time, it seemed inconceivable to me that my father wouldn’t always be there. He lived for some years after that, but I’m now within four or five years of the age of when my father passed away. Now I understand why it was important for my father to tell me about life after he’s gone, but I’m looking to talk to my children about this topic in a way that doesn’t shock them.

I would encourage everyone to have a Will. If you die without a Will, there are rules that govern how your estate will be handled, and you may not like what the rules do. Having a Will is part of being a responsible adult, especially if you have children. People don’t always die at the “right time,” so it pays to plan ahead. I’ve lucked out and made it this far, but I had a brother who passed away at the age of 39. He just rolled over in bed one day and died, leaving a wife and children. Luckily, he was well insured, but I guarantee you that dying at 39 was not part of his life plan.

If you don’t have a Will, don’t keep putting this off. The time is now. You want to deal with these things now, because you don’t want strangers making decisions for you later. Do it now. This is something that really can’t be fixed later.

This post is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as specific financial, legal or tax advice. Depending on your individual circumstances, the strategies discussed in this presentation may not be appropriate for your situation. The information in this material is not intended as tax or legal advice. Always consult your legal or tax professionals for specific information regarding your individual situation.
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